‫LAST SEASON ON AWKWARD
‫NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT I ‫LIKE YOU.
‫- THIS CAME IN THE MAIL ‫FOR YOU.
‫- JENNA, YOU COULD DISAPPEAR ‫AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE.
‫- "A FRIEND?"
‫SOMETIMES BEING A TEENAGER ‫MAKES YOU WANT TO DIE.
‫ASPIRIN, TAKE ME AWAY. ‫[screams]
‫- OUR DAUGHTER IS SUICIDAL. ‫- I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL MYSELF.
‫- THE LOSER WANTS US ‫TO TALK ABOUT HER.
‫- I LOVE THAT GIRL. ‫- BETTER HIDE THE KNIVES.
‫- WHAT IS THE FASCINATION ‫WITH ME?
‫- YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS ‫BACKBONE.
‫- I REALLY LIKE YOU.
‫- YOU'RE IN AN OPEN ‫RELATIONSHIP?
‫- WHO...THE [bleep] ‫INVITED YOU?
‫- I DID.
‫- HE'S TAKING YOU PUBLIC, ‫OUTING YOU AS A COUPLE.
‫- ARE YOU AND MATTY TOGETHER?
‫- LOOKS LIKE MATTY INVITED ‫A LOT OF PEOPLE.
‫- YOU HAVE TO BE HOME ‫RIGHT AWAY?
‫- I HAVE A FEW HOURS ‫TO KILL.
‫I'M NOT GONNA HOOK UP ‫WITH MATTY AGAIN UNTIL WE DTR.
‫- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ‫- DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.
‫- YOU PROMISED NOT TO HOOK UP ‫AGAIN WITHOUT CLARITY.
‫YOU BETTER GET IT SOON ‫BEFORE YOUR DUMPSTER HUMPING
‫WITHOUT A SAFETY NET.
‫- ARE WE...TOGETHER?
‫- YOU'RE NOT THE OBJECT ‫OF HIS AFFECTION.
‫- YOU'RE EASY TO TALK TO.
‫- I WAS JUST THINKING ‫THE SAME THING.
‫YOU THINK MATTY KNOWS ‫JAKE KISSED ME?
‫- NO WAY. ‫GUYS DON'T TALK.
‫- I KISSED JENNA HAMILTON. ‫- WHAT?
‫- SO YOU CAN SLEEP ‫WITH ME IN PRIVATE,
‫BUT YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME ‫IN PUBLIC?
‫FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT, ‫MATTY,
‫BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF BEING ‫YOUR SECRET.
‫- I'M SO GLAD ‫I WROTE YOU THAT LETTER.
‫- JAKE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
‫- WE'RE NEVER GONNA BE ‫ABLE TO CONTROL THE THINGS
‫THAT HAPPEN TO US, ‫SWEETHEART, BUT...
‫YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CONTROL ‫HOW YOU FEEL.
‫- THE REASON THAT I KEEP ‫BRINGING UP OUR KISS
‫IS BECAUSE I LIKE LIKE YOU.
‫- I WAS JUST NOMINATED
‫FOR SOPHOMORE ‫WINTER FORMAL PRINCESS.
‫- AH!
‫- AH, YOU JUST MISSED HER.
‫- I DIDN'T KNOW ROSATI ‫WAS THE GUY
‫YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME ABOUT. ‫- YEP.
‫JAKE'S MY DATE.
‫I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. ‫IT'S TOO LATE.
‫MOM?
‫IT WAS THE NIGHT ‫BEFORE CHRISTMAS
‫AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE,
‫NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING...
‫EXCEPT FOR MY MOUSE,
‫WHICH WASN'T WIRELESS OR WORKING ‫AND DRIVING ME INSANE,
‫BECAUSE EVEN MY KEYBOARD ‫WAS ACTING INANE.
‫USING PLUSES FOR "T"s, ‫EXCLAMATIONS FOR "I"s,
‫I HOPED SANTA WOULD BRING ‫A LAPTOP SURPRISE.
‫EITHER PIXELS OR PRINT ‫MY BLOG WOULD BE FINE,
‫BUT I NEEDED A BREAK ‫TO START THINKING OFFLINE.
‫THINKING ABOUT WHAT I FOUND ‫POST THE DANCE.
‫THINKING HOW I FOUND IT ‫BY CHANCE.
‫I FINALLY UNVEILED ‫WHO HAD SCRIPTED THE LETTER.
‫IT WAS SOMEONE I KNEW... ‫WHO SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER.
‫NOT LISSA,
‫NOT MING,
‫NOT TAMARA, ‫NOT SADIE,
‫NOT MATTY, ‫NOT DADDY,
‫BUT THE LADY WHO MADE ME.
‫SO FOR OVER A WEEK, ‫I DEBATED MY ACTION.
‫WOULD I FORGIVE ‫OR FORGET?
‫OR FOCUS ON... ‫DISTRACTION?
‫LIKE DECORATING ‫FIVE DOZEN COOKIES
‫WITH SUGAR AND SPICE.
‫OR WATCHING EVERY MOVIE ‫ON PAY-PER-VIEW.
‫TWICE.
‫AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILED ‫TO PREOCCUPY MY MIND,
‫I WOULD HELP JAKE ROSATI ‫WORK ON HIS GRIND.
‫THIS IS FRUSTRATING. ‫MAYBE WE SHOULD--
‫- TAKE OFF OUR CLOTHES? ‫- OR GO INSIDE.
‫BEFORE MY DAD GETS SUSPICIOUS.
‫- RIGHT.
‫- IT'S GETTING LATE, ‫I SHOULD GO.
‫- ONLY IF YOU PROMISE
‫TO OPEN MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT ‫TONIGHT.
‫- OH. WHERE CAN I FIND IT?
‫- YOU SHOULD LOOK FOR SOMETHING ‫ARRIVING VIA EMAIL.
‫- OH.
‫[computer dings]
‫CONSIDERING VACATION DAYS ‫WERE LIKE DOG YEARS,
‫JAKE AND I WERE ALREADY ON ‫THE VERGE OF COMMON LAW STATUS.
‫SO MAKING US ONLINE OFFICIAL
‫SEEMED LIKE A FORMALITY.
‫AND YET, I WAS AFRAID.
‫WOULD JAKE STILL ACCEPT ME ‫IF HE KNEW MY OWN MOTHER DIDN'T?
‫I NEED CLARITY ‫AND AN--
‫- EXPLANATION?
‫WHY DO YOU NEED ‫AN EXPLANATION?
‫- I'M NOT A DOUCHEBAG.
‫AM I? ‫- NO.
‫- BUT THE JURY WAS STILL OUT ‫ON MY MOTHER.
‫WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL ‫WRAPPED UP HERE, SO--
‫- NOT SO FAST.
‫I HAVE ONE MORE GIFT FOR YOU.
‫OH, YOU MISSED THE CARD. ‫HERE.
‫"THIS IS WHO YOU ARE."
‫I NEVER WANT YOU TO FORGET ‫HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE TO ME.
‫- I COULDN'T. ‫SHE PUT IT IN WRITING.
‫OF THE CAREFRONTATION KIND.
‫THANKS.
‫- THIS IS SOMETHING ‫TO REMIND YOU
‫HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE TO ME.
‫- HOW SHOULD I DRESS TONIGHT?
‫- SEXIFIED.
‫IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE ‫AND YOU HAVE A DATE,
‫WHICH MEANS YOU'RE GUARANTEED ‫TO SWAP SALIVA.
‫THE ONLY THING I'M GUARANTEED ‫IS A PROZAC ATTACK.
‫I CAN'T BELIEVE RICKY'S ‫HOLED UP IN HAVASU
‫WITH HIS GRANDMA ‫WHEN WE'RE FINALLY COMMIT LEGIT.
‫- OH, YOU GUYS DTR'ED?
‫- HE SEXTED ME ‫A PICTURE OF HIS HAND
‫WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS, ‫"WE MISS YOU."
‫THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP. ‫WE'RE TOGETHER.
‫NOW, YOU, YOU NEED AN OUTFIT ‫THAT PLAYS UP YOUR ASSETS.
‫OH! BORROW SOMETHING ‫FROM YOUR MOM.
‫GUARANTEED SHE HAS SOMETHING ‫TO BOOST YOUR BITTIES.
‫- I'M NOT SURE MY MOM'S STYLE ‫SENDS THE RIGHT MESSAGE--
‫WITH WORDS OR CLOTHES.
‫I STILL HADN'T TOLD TEE ‫THAT MY MOM WROTE THE LETTER.
‫I HADN'T TOLD ANYONE,
‫'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY ‫TO HATE MY MOM
‫UNTIL I FIGURED OUT ‫IF I DID.
‫- HELLO? ‫- I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
‫SEE YOU SOON.
‫- WHERE YOU GOING?
‫- A PARTY.
‫- WELL, YOUR DAD AND I ‫WERE JUST GONNA
‫TAKE YOU TO A MOVIE. ‫- SORRY.
‫- ARE YOU GOING WITH JAKE? ‫- YEP.
‫- IS HE A GOOD KISSER? ‫- MOM!
‫- WELL, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO ‫I WAS YOUR AGE.
‫YOU CAN TALK TO ME... ‫ABOUT ANYTHING.
‫- I WASN'T READY TO TALK ‫UNTIL I FIGURED OUT WHAT TO SAY.
‫SO THE ONLY WAY TO GET MY MOM ‫OUT OF MY HAIR
‫WAS TO DO IT.
‫I GOTTA DO MY HAIR.
‫- NEED HELP? ‫- NOPE.
‫- IF I WAS A PARANOID PERSON,
‫I WOULD SAY THAT ‫YOU'RE TRYING TO AVOID ME.
‫- WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?
‫[turns blow-dryer on]
‫- WELL, FOR STARTERS,
‫YOU'VE BEEN REALLY DISTANT ‫THE LAST TWO WEEKS.
‫I CAN TELL WHEN SOMETHING'S ‫EATING YOU UP,
‫AND I THINK ‫I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
‫I DETECTED SOMETHING MISSING,
‫AND REALIZE ‫YOU MUST'VE SEEN IT.
‫THIS IS REALLY HARD ‫FOR ME TO SAY,
‫SO I'LL JUST COME OUT WITH IT.
‫- SHE WAS ABOUT TO CONFESS.
‫- I NOTICED YOU AND JAKE ‫WEREN'T ONLINE OFFICIAL.
‫IT TAKES A WHILE ‫FOR BOYS TO COMMIT.
‫WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE ‫TO MANIPULATE THEM INTO IT.
‫DO YOU KNOW HIS PASSWORD?
‫[turns blow-dryer higher]
‫- IN FOUR SHORT MONTHS, ‫I HAD EVOLVED.
‫I'D GONE FROM THAT GIRL ‫WHO TRIED TO KILL HERSELF
‫TO THAT GIRL WHO HAD A DATE ‫ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
‫BUT FOR SOME REASON, ‫NEW JENNA STILL COULDN'T SHAKE
‫FEELING LIKE THE OLD ONE.
‫"WHAT'S LEFT TO BE RESOLVED?"
‫- HAPPY NEW YEAR! ‫HA HA.
‫HI, HI. ‫WELCOME.
‫- I HADN'T SPOKEN TO MATTY ‫SINCE THE DANCE,
‫AND I WAS WORRIED ‫THAT SEEING HIM WOULD BE...
‫WEIRD.
‫- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU ‫WAITING FOR?
‫LET'S GET A DRINK ‫IN YOUR HAND.
‫- DEBRIEF. NOW!
‫- MATTY DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH.
‫HE JUST JET SKIED PASSED ‫HIS HEARTACHE.
‫- YEAH, THOSE FIST BUMPS ‫WERE NOT PAINED.
‫- OKAY, I GOT THE MEMO. ‫HE'S FINE, BUT I'M NOT.
‫SOMEONE'S READING MY BLOG. ‫I GOT A COMMENT TONIGHT.
‫- HOW? ‫- IT'S ON A PUBLIC SITE.
‫- I KNEW IT. ‫WHICH ONE?
‫- IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW. ‫I HID IT.
‫- WHY'D YOU MAKE IT PUBLIC ‫IN THE FIRST PLACE?
‫- I DON'T KNOW! ‫I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.
‫IT WAS ANONYMOUS... ‫SORT OF.
‫SO IT'S NOT ONE OF YOU GUYS?
‫- LIKE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ‫IF IT WAS ME.
‫I CAN'T KEEP A SECRET ‫FOR [bleep].
‫- TRUE.
‫- SO DO YOU THINK ‫IT'S SOMEONE WE KNOW?
‫- MOST LIKELY, ‫IT'S SOME CREEPY OLD PERV.
‫LIKE PENG HUANG. ‫- WHO?
‫- MY DAD. ‫I FOUND PORN ON MY LAPTOP.
‫- [gasp] EW!
‫YOUR DAD TICKLES HIS PICKLE ‫ON YOUR--
‫- JUDGE ALL YOU WANT, ‫BUT AT LEAST NOW
‫I HAVE LEVERAGE... ‫SORT OF.
‫I'M STILL GETTING PICKED UP ‫BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
‫SO WHILE YOU ALL KISS ‫EACH OTHER,
‫I'M GONNA BE KISSING ‫MY PILLOW.
‫- WITH YOUR DAD'S ‫JOLLY JUICE.
‫- ON THAT VISUAL, ‫I'M GETTING A DRINK.
‫- HI!
‫LOOK, IT'S A NEW YEAR,
‫AND I WANNA CLEAR THE AIR,
‫START FRESH, ‫AND REPENT FOR MY SINS.
‫JENNA!
‫I'VE SINNED AGAINST YOU.
‫AND I'M SORRY.
‫- GREAT. ‫I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
‫- BUT I MEAN, I DID ‫REALLY AWFUL THINGS TO YOU.
‫I TOLD EVERYONE ‫YOU WERE A WHORE.
‫- DID YOU START THE "HAMILTON'S ‫A WHORE" GROUP ONLINE?
‫- AS OF TOMORROW, ‫IT'S COMING DOWN.
‫- GREAT, THANKS. ‫I FORGIVE YOU.
‫GOOD TALK. ‫- OH.
‫- YOU SEEM A LITTLE ‫OFF BALANCE.
‫AND I THINK I KNOW WHY.
‫AT FIRST, I CONSIDERED IT ‫TEMPORARY INSANITY
‫WHEN YOU LOCKED ME ‫OUT OF THE BATHROOM.
‫BUT SINCE YOU HAVEN'T RESPONDED ‫TO ANY OF MY CALLS OR TEXTS,
‫I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE YOU'RE ‫BORDERING ON INSUBORDINATION.
‫THAT SAID, ‫I'M OVER IT.
‫YOU'RE FORGIVEN.
‫- YOU THREATENED ‫TO SHAVE MY HEAD.
‫- THIS IS WHAT WE DO.
‫YOU STEP OUT OF LINE, ‫AND I SMACK YOU DOWN.
‫THEN YOU GET ME A LATTE.
‫- WELL, NOT THIS YEAR.
‫- SO YOU'RE WILLING ‫TO BE FRIENDS WITH HAMIL-TOE
‫AND NOT ME? ‫- EXACTLY.
‫BY THE WAY, ‫YOU LOOK SKINNY.
‫- THAT IS SOMETHING ‫A FRIEND WOULD SAY, BITCH!
‫- THE POWDER WAS SO FRESH, MAN.
‫EXCEPT ON THE BACKSIDE ‫WHEN I BAILED DOWN SOME ICE.
‫BEST SNOWBOARDING OF MY LIFE.
‫- WISH I COULD'VE BEEN THERE. ‫- NO DOUBT.
‫SO WHAT'D YOU DO ‫OVER THE BREAK?
‫- OH, NOT MUCH. ‫JUST CHILLED.
‫- OH, WITH HAMILTON? ‫- A LITTLE.
‫- YOU GUYS TOGETHER NOW?
‫[phone rings]
‫- UH, NO, WE'RE NOT OFFICIAL ‫OR ANYTHING.
‫JUST BEEN HANGING OUT.
‫- HELLO? ‫- HEY, GIRL!
‫JUST WANTED TO SAY ‫HAPPY NYE!
‫- VALERIE? ‫IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
‫YOU'VE NEVER ‫CALLED MY CELL BEFORE.
‫- WELL, JENNA, ‫THERE IS A FIRST FOR EVERYTHING.
‫A FIRST FOR CALLING ‫YOUR BEST GIRL,
‫A FIRST FOR BEING STOOD UP.
‫- WERE YOU STOOD UP?
‫- NO! NO, GOD, NO.
‫I MEANT, ‫IN THE HANDICAPPED SENSE
‫WHEN SOMEONE HAS TO LIFT SOMEONE ‫ELSE OUT OF A WHEELCHAIR.
‫ANYWAY, WHERE ARE YOU ‫CELEBRATING TONIGHT?
‫- UH, I'M A MATTY MCKIBBEN'S.
‫- RIGHT. ‫NEW YEAR'S IS FOR LOVERS.
‫- I'M HERE WITH JAKE.
‫- ARE YOU SURE ‫THAT'S A GOOD IDEA?
‫I MEAN, SOMEONE MIGHT GET ‫THE WRONG IMPRESSION,
‫LIKE I HAD A DATE.
‫- VALERIE, I HAVE TO GO! ‫- WHY!
‫- LOOK, I LET THE CAT OUT.
‫NEED SOME HELP?
‫- SURE.
‫- SO DID YOU HAVE ‫A GOOD HOLIDAY?
‫- YEAH, IT WAS GREAT. YOU? ‫- YEAH.
‫SO...I KNOW I PROBABLY DON'T ‫HAVE TO SAY THIS,
‫BUT I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT ‫WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DANCE.
‫I'M HOPING WE CAN BE FRIENDS ‫ONCE WE GET SOME CLOSURE.
‫NOT THAT I'M SUGGESTING ‫THAT YOU NEED CLOSURE.
‫BUT...
‫I DO.
‫SO...ARE WE CLOSED?
‫- NO.
‫I WANT ANOTHER CHANCE.
‫YOU WANT ANOTHER CHANCE?
‫- I KNOW I MADE ‫A LOT OF MISTAKES.
‫BUT I WON'T SCREW UP AGAIN. ‫- I CAME WITH JAKE.
‫- BUT YOU CAN STAY...
‫WITH ME.
‫- IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
‫I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ‫ABOUT ME, JENNA,
‫OR YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE ‫RIGHT NOW.
‫- IT WAS TRUE. ‫I HADN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT MATTY.
‫BUT I ALSO HADN'T ENTIRELY ‫FORGIVEN HIM.
‫- JAKE SAID YOU GUYS ‫WERE JUST HANGING OUT.
‫HE'LL UNDERSTAND ‫ONCE WE EXPLAIN IT.
‫- WE? ‫- OR ME.
‫I'LL TELL HIM.
‫OKAY, JUST MEET ME HERE ‫AT MIDNIGHT...
‫AND WE'LL START OVER. ‫AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT JAKE.
‫HE'LL UNDERSTAND ONCE... ‫HE KNOWS.
‫- ONCE HE KNOWS WHAT?
‫- THAT I WAS WITH YOU FIRST.
‫- TECHNICALLY, ‫MATTY WAS WITH ME FIRST.
‫AND TECHNICALLY, ‫JAKE AND I WEREN'T OFFICIAL.
‫BUT IF EVERYTHING CAME DOWN ‫TO TECHNICALITIES,
‫I WAS TECHNICALLY CONFUSED.
‫- I'M CONFUSED TOO.
‫- WHEN DID YOU ASK HER ‫TO BE ONLINE OFFICIAL?
‫- ALMOST A WEEK AGO. ‫AND SHE HASN'T EVEN RESPONDED.
‫- [scoffs] ‫PUH-LEASE.
‫RICKY'S LEFT MY REQUEST ‫IN CYBERSPACE
‫FOR, LIKE, ‫THREE MONTHS.
‫I SHOULD REALLY ASK HIM WHY. ‫- DO IT NOW.
‫GET A LITTLE RESOLUTION ‫BEFORE THE NEW YEAR.
‫- HE'S WITH HIS GRANDMA.
‫- WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, ‫THEN SHE'S LOOKING PRETTY GOOD.
‫- RICKY! ‫YOU LYING SACK OF CRAP!
‫- I BETTER LIE IN WAIT NEARBY ‫TO DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH.
‫- OOH! HEY, STRANGER.
‫WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?
‫- I ACCIDENTALLY ‫LET THE CAT OUT.
‫- I DON'T THINK MATTY ‫HAS A CAT.
‫- ANY MORE.
‫WHICH IS... ‫EVEN MORE REASON TO FIND IT.
‫IT HAS ALREADY BEEN ‫FORGOTTEN.
‫- AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? ‫HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?
‫- FORGOTTEN WHAT? ‫- TO RESPOND TO MY REQUEST.
‫- OH, RIGHT! ‫I WAS TOTALLY GONNA DO THAT.
‫RIGHT AFTER I FOUND THE CAT.
‫HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!
‫KITTY!
‫- [gasp] KITTY? ‫KITTY?
‫IS THERE A KITTY? ‫[gasp] I LOVE KITTIES.
‫MEOW. ‫KITTY? MEOW.
‫MEOW! ‫- GET UP, THERE'S NO CAT.
‫- SO I'VE BEEN THINKING. ‫- IT WAS A FIRST.
‫- I KNOW ‫HOW WE CAN BE EVEN.
‫- WE ARE EVEN. ‫- NO, NO.
‫I'M TALKING ‫OLD TESTAMENT EVEN.
‫IT'S CALLED ‫AN EYE FOR AN EYE,
‫BUT WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT ‫A CHEEK FOR A CHEEK.
‫I SLAPPED YOU, ‫SO YOU HAVE TO SLAP ME.
‫- UH-UH, I'M NOT GONNA SLAP YOU. ‫- COME ON, SLAP ME!
‫[gasp] WOW, ‫I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL THAT.
‫- BEAUTIFUL, I SWEAR,
‫MY GRANDMA DROPPED ME OFF EARLY ‫TO SURPRISE YOU.
‫CALL HER. ‫SHE'LL CONFIRM MY STORY.
‫- YOUR STORY? ‫[chuckles]
‫YOU JUST ADMITTED ‫THAT YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP.
‫EAT [bleep], RICKY.
‫- 15 MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT!
‫- THEY WERE 15 MINUTES ‫THAT I WOULD NEVER FORGET.
‫JAKE NEEDED ACCEPTANCE, ‫MATTY NEEDED AN ANSWER,
‫AND I NEEDED SOME AIR.
‫[car horn honking]
‫- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU ‫WITH YOUR CRISIS.
‫- YOU KNOW ABOUT MY CRISIS?
‫- WITH YOUR CAT. ‫DON'T WORRY, WE'LL FIND HER.
‫OR IS IT A HIM? ‫TOMCATS CAN BE A LITTLE TRICKY.
‫WHICH IS WHY I BROUGHT ‫REINFORCEMENTS.
‫- VAL... ‫THE CAT'S IMAGINARY.
‫- SO IS MY RELATIONSHIP.
‫OH!
‫"J," I AM TORE UP ‫FROM THE FLOOR UP,
‫BEAT UP FROM THE FEET UP,
‫AND I NEED A CHECK UP ‫FROM THE NECK UP.
‫ALOK STOOD ME UP.
‫I'M SORRY TO LAY THIS ON YOU ‫BUT SUSAN'S OUT OF TOWN.
‫- WHO'S SUSAN? ‫YOUR THERAPIST?
‫- NO, MY PSYCHIC.
‫I'M NOT GOOD AT FOLLOWING ‫MY OWN INTUITION
‫WHEN IT COMES ‫TO RELATIONSHIPS,
‫SO I NEED HER GUIDANCE.
‫- AND THERE'S NO WAY ‫TO REACH HER BY PHONE?
‫AT THAT MOMENT,
‫I COULD'VE USED A LITTLE ‫GUIDANCE FROM SUSAN MYSELF.
‫- NO, SHE WON'T GIVE OUT ‫HER CELL.
‫OH, "J"...
‫I FEEL LIKE SUCH A TOOL.
‫ALOK SAID HE WANTED TO RING IN ‫THE NEW YEAR TOGETHER,
‫SO I BOUGHT A NEW DRESS ‫AND I GOT MY HAIR DONE.
‫- AND NOW IT'S UNRAVELED.
‫- NO. IT'S STILL INTACT. ‫BUT MY HEART ISN'T.
‫- HE DIDN'T EVEN CALL YOU? ‫- NO, HE DID A FEW TIMES.
‫BUT...I DON'T KNOW.
‫I JUST--I DON'T WANNA HEAR ‫HIS EXCUSES, YOU KNOW?
‫I'VE HEARD 'EM ALL BEFORE. ‫MY EX HAD A MILLION OF 'EM.
‫WHO BANGS THEIR HEAD ‫AND HAS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR?
‫THERE WAS NO BLOOD. ‫JUST A BUMP AND BLURRED VISION.
‫HE COULD'VE JUST SAID HE DIDN'T ‫WANNA SEE STARS ON ICE.
‫- VAL, THIS IS YOUR EX, ‫NOT MR. MISHRA, RIGHT?
‫- YEAH.
‫- YOU CAN'T LET YOUR PAST ‫DISAPPOINT CLOUD YOUR JUDGMENT.
‫IT'S HOLDING YOU BACK.
‫AND MAYBE MY PAST DISAPPOINTMENT ‫WAS HOLDING ME BACK TOO.
‫I JUST DIDN'T KNOW FROM WHO. ‫- I SHOULD CALL HIM.
‫- DO IT.
‫- GET OUT OF MY CAR.
‫HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!
‫- 10!
‫all: 9...
‫8...
‫7...
‫6...
‫5...
‫4...
‫3...
‫2...
‫1.
‫WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALONE ‫IN HERE?
‫- UM, GETTING DRUNK.
‫I JUST GOT DENIED.
‫- AH, LET ME GUESS. ‫JENNA HAMILTON.
‫- YEAH. ‫HOW'D YOU KNOW?
‫- IT'S [bleep] OBVIOUS.
‫YOU'VE BEEN DROOLING ‫OVER THE FREAK FOR MONTHS.
‫WHY? I'LL NEVER KNOW.
‫YOU PROBABLY HAVE ‫SOME SORT OF SAVIOR COMPLEX.
‫SO WHAT HAPPENED?
‫DID SHE DIS YOU AGAIN ‫FOR THE NILLA WAFER?
‫- YUP.
‫AND NOW I'VE BEEN RELEGATED ‫TO SECOND STRING.
‫JUST TELL ME, HOW DO I JUST ‫WATCH FROM THE SIDELINES?
‫- GET A THERAPIST. ‫- COME ON, SADES.
‫I NEED TO TALK. ‫- THEN TALK.
‫BUT NOT TO ME.
‫- WHY?
‫- ARE YOU SO DENSE ‫THAT YOU CAN'T SEE
‫THAT I HAVE HAD ‫A CRUSH ON YOU FOREVER?
‫AND NOW YOU WANT ME ‫TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
‫BECAUSE YOU FINALLY TASTED ‫THE BITTER PILL OF REJECTION?
‫WELL, I WON'T.
‫WELCOME TO MY CLUB. ‫IT'S A LONELY, SAD, DEP--
‫- SO...WHAT ARE YOUR ‫RESOLUTIONS?
‫- I DIDN'T KNOW. ‫THERE WERE TOO MANY TO PROCESS.
‫- THIS YEAR, I'M NOT EVEN ‫GONNA SAY HIS NAME.
‫RICKY'S DEAD TO ME. ‫OH, DAMN IT!
‫I JUST SAID RICKY. ‫[bleep]!
‫- THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA ‫LET JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.
‫'CAUSE I'M WAY TOO DRUNK ‫TO DRIVE.
‫OW!
‫- THIS YEAR, ‫I'M GONNA BE ON TOP.
‫UNLESS I'M IN ‫A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP.
‫- I JUST DECIDED I'M NOT GONNA ‫MAKE ANY RESOLUTIONS.
‫I'M JUST GONNA ‫LET THE YEAR SURPRISE ME.
‫- OH...MY...GOD.
‫OH, MY GOD.
‫YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
‫YOU'RE TOTALLY OVERRATED.
‫OR...
‫AM I?
‫- THIS IS MY GRANDMA. ‫TALK TO HER.
‫- HELLO? ‫YES, BUT--
‫HE DID?
‫HE IS A NICE BOY.
‫YOU TOO.
‫OH! I SHOULD WASH MY MOUTH OUT. ‫I PUKED IN THE SINK.
‫ANYBODY HAVE ANY GUM?
‫- YOU, COME HERE!
‫- THAT WAS-- ‫- AMAZING.
‫I KNOW. ‫YOU'RE WELCOME.
‫- YOU READY TO GO? ‫- YES.
‫- I'M NOT LETTING YOU LEAVE.
‫NOT UNTIL YOU--
‫- HAPPY NEW YEAR.
‫- THANK YOU.
‫- MM.
‫- THANKS FOR COMING ‫WITH ME TONIGHT.
‫- MM-HMM.
‫- AND, UH, THANK YOU FOR THE... ‫CONDOMS?
‫WHO GOT CONDOMS ‫FOR CHRISTMAS?
‫- ME. ‫THEY'RE FROM MY DAD.
‫- WOW! ‫WELL, THANK YOU, MR. HAMILTON.
‫LOOKS LIKE I'M ABOUT ‫TO HAVE A GOOD YEAR.
‫CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR DAD ‫GAVE YOU CONDOMS.
‫- YEAH, ‫IT'S KIND OF HIS THING.
‫HE GAVE THEM TO ‫THE LAST GUY I DATED TOO.
‫- OH.
‫SO YOU USE 'EM?
‫- YES...NO.
‫NOT ANY MORE, ‫BUT I HAVE.
‫- COOL.
‫- IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ‫ANY BETTER, I WAS IN LOVE...
‫YOU KNOW, WHEN I USED THEM.
‫- THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME ‫FEEL ANY BETTER.
‫- DO YOU WANT OUT?
‫- NO.
‫I'M ALL IN.
‫BUT ARE YOU?
‫- IT WAS OFFICIAL.
‫WE HAD DTR'ED ‫FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.
‫AND I WAS LETTING GO ‫OF MY FEAR.
‫MY FEAR OF REJECTION.
‫BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO HIDE.
‫AND EVEN IF ONLY ‫ONE VIRTUAL STRANGER
‫KNEW THE WHOLE TRUTH,
‫IT WAS TIME TO GO PUBLIC
‫WITH WHAT I COULD ‫NEITHER FORGIVE NOR FORGET.
‫- YES.
‫- THIS CAME IN THE MAIL ‫FOR YOU.
‫- AND...SHE'S FINALLY ‫DOING HER HAIR
‫NOW THAT SHE HAS A BOYF--
‫SARAH, I GOTTA GO.
‫NEXT ON AWKWARD
‫SOMETHING'S GOING DOWN ‫AT THE SANCTUARY.
‫- BAD NEWS, DUDES. ‫WE'VE BEEN TMZ'ED.
‫- CAN YOU IMAGINE ‫ALL THE SCANDALOUS STUFF
‫THAT'S BEEN CAUGHT ON TAPE?
‫- I AM BARELY ‫OVER MY SUICIDE STIGMA.
‫I CAN'T BE KNOWN AS THE GIRL ‫WHO HOOKED UP ON TAPE.
‫- JENNA TOLD ME ‫SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN.
‫- THE TAPE IS GOING PUBLIC?
‫- PLEASE DON'T TELL JAKE.
‫I CAN'T LOSE HIM TOO.
‫- I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR ‫THAT YOU KNOW.